Full Circle...



 This spring, 6 year old Spinner played TeeBall. It's relatively boring. The kids hit the ball off a tee with the coach standing beside them. The opposing team have all their little crew in the field with their coaches behind them. It's just so very different than in my days of learning and playing ball.

First of all, at 4, 5 and 6 years old there was no formal league set up. We played in the backyard and learned by trial and error... catch the ball or be smacked in the face with it. We spent hours throwing a ball through a tire, playing Run-the-Bases, throwing a rubber ball against a wall or steps and catching it, playing catch with your siblings, tossing a ball in the air and swinging a bat to hit it before the ball fell to the ground. I think the first time I was old enough to play league softball  I was 9.

This being said, back to TeeBall.When a player came up to bat, I cheered with all the other parents and grandparents. I cheered a little louder when it was Spinner's turn, of course. There was hooping and hollaring when a player stopped a ball(doesn't matter how, as long as the ball was stopped) and threw it in the direction of 1st base. There are no outs in TeeBall. Everyone gets a bat. The are 2 innings, sometimes 3 if there was enough time before the next game was to start and the parents all agreed.

When my kids were younger I coached many of their teams. The first years of their playing was coach's pitch. They learned how to time their swings and didn't really have to worry so much with the strike zone. They had coaches at every base tell them when and where to run. And my parents sat in the bleachers cheering them on. All in all, my kids learned how to play ball. Just like Spinner is learning now.

Here I am, not in charge of anything and sitting back holding my cheering signs and just enjoying watching my granddaughter run, play, make friends, have fun, and catch and hit a ball or two.
So, there I sat. Me and MomMom behind homeplate in our easy to open folding chairs.  And a memory so overwhelming hit me like a ton of bricks.

 Actually it brought tears to my eyes thinking about it. I can see myself playing shortstop and looking up to see grandpop's car coming down the long dirt road towards the ballfield .Grandmom, Grandpop and Mom would get out. Sometimes one of my aunts would also be with them. The chairs came out of the trunk and they all sat behind the backstop cheering enthusiastically during my game. I thought of my parents sitting in the stands clapping for my kids.

Life does come full circle. And when it's a circle that has been a happy one, what great enjoyment those moments in life bring!

Winter thoughts looking skyward

What a strange winter we are having. I can remember other mild winters where we maybe had only 2 weeks of straight freezing cold. This winter I think we've had a few scattered freezing days. And I don't think it's even reached the teens at all in the daytime. With the natural disasters happening in 2011 and experiencing this moderate winter has given me an urge to reflect where we are in this time of history.
My mind wanders as I remember listening to my grandparents in conversations about the return of Christ. They would talk about how scripture was being fulfilled and it could happen anytime. And this was back in the 70's. Today, I hear my 83 year old Dad thoughtfully muse if he will die or the rapture will take place first.
I have heard many preachers talk about the coming of the Lord and have listened to how they interrupt the Bible with pre, mid or post tribulation standpoint. Years ago I started  telling people I believed in pan-trib whenever the subject came up. It will all pan out in the end.
Last night I watched a show about people prepping for life changing disasters. It was quite fascinating... and a bit overwhelming. I talked with 2 of my kids about what they would do if a disaster would happen that would bring America to a standstill. They had some good thoughts.
 For myself  I believe, "My God shall supply all my needs."  "Be anxious for nothing."  "Cast all my care upon him." But I still worry and want to be prepared with my rations, equipment and knowledge.
I know God is with me always. Through the bad and good, through the easy and hard times. I also believe along with  faith that God is my supplier, he also wants me to put my faith into action. And that may be preparing for a disaster.
I am not so much concerned about me as I am for my children and grandchildren. They are all scattered. My 4 closest munchkins are about an hour from me.
I know the best way I can help my family is to grow that mountain moving mustard seed. And I know the Word and prayer are the key prepping tools I need.

Christmas 2011

It's December here in Maryland. You can't tell from the weather. It feels more like Halloween. Not that I'm complaining a whole lot, because these old bones love the break from the colder weather.
This year is bittersweet. We will be celebrating in Pa. with some of the family. My son is in Louisianna. I have not had the pleasure of celebrating Christmas with Eli in about 7 years. I miss him so very much during the holidays. He and Natalie will probably go to her parents house for a little while. Eli already told me he has to work at the restaurant later on Christmas day. Their Christmas card and gifts will not make it to them on time. I am SO BAD at getting things out on time. Procrastination is such a major downfall for me. I am trying to get better.
My youngest daughter is in California. Her husband is in the army and they are stationed at Ft. Irwin. They will be having Christmas by themselves this year with their beautiful family. I have been blessed that they have been able to celebrate Christmas with us in Maryland a couple of times. Last year I was able to go to their house in Georgia. Matt was in Iraq.  Gator was 3 years old and Peaches was just under a year old. It was a wonderful time. And I got to see my Jack-a-Boo. Teenagers always brings a challenging mix to all who enter their domain!! :)
This year I will wake up on Christmas morning and watch Tiger and Minnow open their gifts, then run up the street and watch Spinner and Squiggles open theirs. I think this is the only time I am grateful for early risers and sleepy heads with my grandkids!! :)
The other day Spinner asked her parents about going to a Christmas Eve service because her curiosty about the birth of Jesus is starting to raise questions in her little 6 year old head. So it was decided we would all go to Denise's church for Christmas Eve service. The church will have refreshments and tell the Christmas story. Tiger and Minnow's mommy wasn't as excited about going to church, which breaks my heart. Yesterday I got quite vocal with my daughter about the true meaning of Christmas.  When I got off the phone with her, I  defiantly demanded of God to change her heart and attitude.This morning after some much needed quiet time, I found myself humbly begging God to work a change in my heart. And when I talked to Bre later on this morning she was talking about going to church Christmas Eve as if nothing was said about not going.
So, this Christmas season, the weather isn't what I expected, all the people I would like to see gathered around my table won't be there, I didn't get all the gifts out I wanted to on time, my house isn't decorated as I would like it to be, but in my heart I know the real reason I'm celebrating this holiday is because I believe a baby was born, to bring me hope, a reason to get up in the morning, a purpose in my personal life.
I love my family. I am blessed that God has put in my life wonderful people who give me the opportunity to look deep into my heart and know I cannot make it in this world without a savior.
I truely know..... Jesus is the reason for the season!!!  :)

Irene

This summer has just simply flown by. Work seems like it doubled from the volume of patients we saw this time last year. The grandkids have happily kept me quite busy. We have had adventures that will be talked about for a long time. I love activities that make memories which will be repeated long after I'm gone!! (well I hope so anyway!)
But I wanted to talk about Irene. Not my 2nd cousin, although she is a wonderful lady. I'm talking about the hurricane that just pounded us with her presence. She got everyone's attention. I live in Maryland. About 11 miles from Baltimore City. We watched as Irene showed her fury south of us. We braced and prayed for the Lord to keep us safe, along with the millions of others that were being affected by the powerful winds and flooding. And we watched Irene head north.
My granddaughter Spinner was so terrified we were going to not make it out alive(she's 5) wouldn't even say the word hurricane. I'm not sure if the fear comes from the fact we just felt the ground shake and rumble under us a week ago, but natural disasters in her mind is a concept way too big for her 5 year old mind to comprehend. I even tried singing the song from Veggie Tales,"God is bigger than the Boggie Man." Nope, she would have none of that. Maybe if she was facing a scarey creature she might have a little more courage and faith that she would be safe, but not this big wind that could knock down her family.
God did spare us major problems. We never lost our power. For that alone I am so grateful. The tree  damage is minimal. We will be picking up and raking for a week I'm sure, but that is surely doable over what could have happened. The roof has a few shingles gone. And the oak will need some branches cut where they are just hanging, far too high up for us to reach.
My prayers continue to go out to the thousands who suffered damage and/or loss. God keep your hand on the 1st responders as they are on the streets.
Thank you God for your protection, mercy and love.

Flag Day

It was decided by 2 of my kids that the munchkins would see fireworks at Ft. McHenry. I love going to the fort. I love to wander the grounds, watch the boats, sit up on the cannons and just relax and take in the sights of the Harbor. I enjoy watching the movie educating the public about the beginnings of the Star Spangled Banner. It is always fun and enlightening to watch a reinactment of the daily life of the soldiers inside the main fort area. That's what I love about the fort. My idea of a fun time does not include 5,000 people or more crowded on the open field at Ft. McHenry looking towards the water as fireworks go off. However my munchkin's parents wanted to take them to the fireworks for Flag Day. Of course it was a wonderful time. My little munchkin's faces were lit up with glee and excitement. 1 year old, Squiggles would point and run around making sure everyone had seen the bright lights before sitting down her her daddy's lap again, only to repeat the same thing over and over again. Four year old Minnow was a pro this year. The last time she saw fireworks at the Harbor on New Years Eve she was still a little nervous. But, not this time. She was loving it! The 5 year olds sat a little off by themselves and ooed and ahhhed pointing towards the sky when a really loud burst erupted in the sky.
But what touched my heart the most was at the end of the night, as we were all walking to our respective vehicles. I was saying my goodbyes to everyone. Tiger and Minnow went one way down the street with their daddy, Spinner and Squiggle's parents started down another path towards their car. I had just turned toward my car when Spinner came running back up to me, hugged me again, looked into my eyes and said,"Thank you Nana for coming to see fireworks with me. It just wouldn't be the same without you." Yep, that's why I love a crowd on a weekday inside Ft. McHenry!

A Moment in Time

I have moments in my life I wish I could take back. Snapping out an answer when I should have kept my mouth shut, ignoring a homeless person that I had a tug on my heart to talk to, turning down an opportunity to teach a class, not picking up the phone when you see it's someone that will keep you tied up for hours. Yes, and I'm just sharing the better worse moments of my life.
But then there are the perfect moments that always brings a smile to my face when I think about them.
The moment your new born baby snuggles up to your neck and wiggles into that little spot under your chin. The time your son is playing right field and hasn't caught a ball all season and this catch will lose or win the game. As the ball lands safely in his mitt, you realize you had been holding your breath, in that perfect moment as the crowd roars and your son flashes a great big smile of gratitude and relief.
The instruments that are being played in church all stop and all you can hear are angelic voices singing in perfect harmony. Walking through a meadow overlooking a stream. Stopping to take it all in and looking up see an eagle gliding right above you. Sitting down to dinner, everyone excited to talk about their day and each one listens to the other and all share and laugh together.
There are usually no words to describe a perfect moment. But you feel each one in you heart. It brings you to the reality that God is in control, even when we think he has deserted us.
I am so thankful for each perfect moment God has given me.

Showers of blessings

                        My Munchkins... Spinner, Minnow, Gator, Tiger, Squiggles, Peaches

I am blessed. I don't always looked blessed, nor do I always feel blessed, but I do know in my little corner of life I am blessed. I am blessed with family that has gone before me, men and women who have braved hard circumstances and overcame what was placed in front of them.My ancesters were people who loved their families, loved this country and loved their God. They worked hard and loved much. In this last year I have started looking for my ancesters and have been amazed at what I have found out about my heritage. Not all was a bed of roses, and some history would better be forgotten, but all in all, wonderful people who lived life to its fullest.
I am blessed with family and friends that have enriched my life. When the drama gets swirling and I have to go clear my head, I can smile at the commotion and re-enter heartfelt conversations.
My kids range in age from 23 to 34 that have been a joy, an exasperation, spinning out of control, difficult at times, but all in all blessings beyond my imagination.
My grandkids range from 1 years old to 15.During my younger mothering years I would hear how much fun grandkids are. Love them and give them back. Never, I thought would grandkids be as much fun as I am having with my children. ahhhhh, right. Grandkids are the ultimate fun. And also the ultimate wear me out dog tired.
I have a job that enables me to interact with others many times less fortunate than myself. They are so grateful for the little things I am able to do for them. I am humbled at the glimpse of a life that I'm not sure I would have the strength or the courage to live on a daily basis.
I am showered with blessings where I stand.